Archive for December, 2013

Just Say No

Posted: December 31, 2013 in Foolishness
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“Just say no”.  Famous words courtesy of Nancy Reagan, wife of conservative god and President of the United States Ronald Reagan.  That was her solution to winning ‘The War On Drugs’  If someone offers you some drugs, well all ya gotta do is just say, “No thank you”.  Pretty easy…for anybody who hasn’t ever touched drugs and would never think of using them.  But, for those who’ve said, “What the fuck, I’ll give it a try”.  That’s a different story altogether.  Because drugs make ya feel good, and everybody wants to feel good.  And everything anyone does is to make them feel good, or ultimately feel good.

Anyway, War On Drugs rant notwithstanding, have you ever wanted something, but knew it was really bad for you and could have disastrous consequences should ya do it?  But still, knowing the downside, want to pursue it anyway?  Going so far as to rationalize it away, thinking, “Maybe once or…possibly twice, what would be the harm?  I’d sure be nice”.  Maybe it’s all about risk and reward.  The short-term reward, by far out-weighing the longer term risks.

That’s when the old internal dialogue, that constant debate you’re having with yourself, goes totally ape-shit: clear rational thought being met with,”But I still wanna do it”.  “And I wanna do it cause I’ll never be satisfied, or have any rest until my graving is met.”  At that point you’re totally delusional, no longer give a shit about anyone else, let alone the effects it may have on them, and just say,”To hell with it”, and do it anyway.

Problem is, once you take a leap off of that cliff, the end results are often times not that satisfying and ya wonder what the hell ya did.  Boy, if that ever happens to me, I’m gonna remember old Nancy Reagan, and Just Say No!

Nothing To Say

Posted: December 28, 2013 in Flat-0ut Bullshit

If ya have nothing to say.  Don’t write about it!  Don’t proclaim to the world that you’ve come up short (once again).  And don’t go tryin’ to solicit a pity-party just because you’re runnin’ on empty.  Nobody wants to read about nothing.

That’s all I got to say.

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Waiting For A Sign

Posted: December 25, 2013 in Foolishness

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Everybody is waiting for a sign.  An indicator which announces what is about to come.  Jesus said he’d come back, and that there’d be plenty of signs announcing The End.  I haven’t seen any yet.  Maybe because there’s no end to all the signs plastered all over the place. I’m not gonna worry about it too much, until the signs He spoke of  are on billboards.

Relief

Posted: December 22, 2013 in Foolishness
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Pheww.  I’m glad I stopped my Hansi’s Hallucinations blog when I did.  It wasn’t an easy decision.  I struggled with it a bit, and lost.  But not really.  Cause I still have my Blithering Idiot blog to fall back on if I needed to do a little emergency blogging. [Like right now.]

As glad as I am to have stopped blogging, I’m even more glader that we’re past the winter solstice.  That was yesterday, and the point where the sun hits its lowest point in the sky and starts returning back to us.  It actually has to do with the earth’s axis and other phenomena that can only best be described as magic.  This only pertains to those of us freezing our asses off in the northern hemisphere.  For those of you down south, it’s summer!  Time to put on them bikinis and start slurpin’ down margaritas.

I’m so glad that the worst is over, that I think I’m gonna cut down an evergreen tree and stick it in my house, so I can be reminded that life goes on.  I may even put some lights on it (in respect for the son sun), and possibly go so far as to decorate it with fertility orbs.  Maybe even, if I’ve been a good little boy, some fat man in a red suit will stop by and leave me some gifts.  Sure hope he’s white 🙂

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I don’t know about you, but for me, Christmas is a royal pain in the ass.  I hate it, but go through the motions.  I give my adult children money – cash, a few $100 bills each.  And as impersonal as it is, they don’t seem to mind it, nor have they voiced any opposition to the Ben Franklins coming their way.  In return, I tell them to give me  dark chocolate (70% cocoa at least) and a nice bottle of chardonnay.

Now The Wife, that’s a different story altogether.  Can’t give her cash – she controls the checkbook.  So it’s gotta be something personal.  Thing of it is, she won’t write down what that may be, let alone specify the store, aisle, and shelf where it’s hidden, so I can go into the store, grab it and get the hell outta there as fast as I can.   Plus, after forty years of marriage, I should know what she likes and makes her happy.  Men don’t know what women want.  We buy gifts for them because we either want sex, or want them off our backs [lot of hell to be caught for that one].

So we’re doomed.  If ya buy her diamonds, she’ll just think you’re a pig who’s only interested in sex (guaranteeing ya won’t be getting any anytime soon), and if ya get her something practical, she’ll just jump in your shit for buying her yet another kitchen appliance.

Maybe a new broom would be an excellent gift.  She could sweep out the kitchen, and also use it for transportation 🙂

Enjoy the holidays.

A no-picture post

Posted: December 17, 2013 in Flat-0ut Bullshit

In my ongoing attempt to keep this from becoming an “art blog”, I’ve decided to forgo posting one of my recent drawings, and rather make it a written post only.  But then I got to thinking:  some of my stuff, while definitely not serious art, is still pretty cool, and makes the written stuff more interesting.  Most people come here to look at my pictures, and not read a bunch of bullshit.  I sure wouldn’t read this crap if I didn’t write it.  If I wanted to fill my mind with bullshit, I’d watch Fox News for a few hours.

It’s been said that “a picture is worth a thousand words.”  I sure wish some of my pictures were worth a thousand dollars.

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Okay.  For those of you who are fortunate enough to live outside the United States, and not be exposed to the right wing lunacy of the Fox News Channel, here’s a little background.  A few days ago, one of their female morning show hosts/hostesses Megyn Kelly, a blond, Miss America looking skank, said that Santa Claus was a white man, as was Jesus.  Well sure as shit, everyone went bonkers over that one, and while we’re now consumed with the racial origins of fictional characters, I thought I’d throw in my idiotical two cents worth.

The cool thing about arguing over pretend stuff is, nobody is wrong.  But in-order to prove myself right, I posted this picture of Santa that proves it.  He’s a white guy, and that’s all there is to it!  You’ll also notice that Santa Is a second amendment freak, cause he’s armed with a sword (no doubt for protection only should he accidentally come down the chimney of a black family who think he’s there to burglarize them).

Santa’s also a pot-head.  Must have smoked some good weed to have that shit-eating grin on his face.  And talk about the munchies, no wonder he’s so fat, with everyone leavin’ him all those treat to nibble on when he’s up the ‘high’ on your roof top.  I worry though that he might be a pedophile, what with that little boy under his arm.  Maybe he has a day job as a priest.

Now Jesus…there’s no argument there.  All ya gotta do is look at all his pictures (except those from Ethiopia) to know that he was a 100% all American white boy.