Archive for February, 2011

Per Verse

Posted: February 28, 2011 in Foolishness
Tags: ,

I went to the Dispensary,

To see what I could see.

They gave me some stuff called, Ecstasy.

The price was a little bloated,

But the shit got me loaded.

Said, “This is the drug for me.”

*

I really have nothing to say.

Hey diddle dee, hey diddle day.

Nothing wise, let alone profound,

I’m basically covering the same old ground.

I shouldn’t write another word,

But there ya have it, another turd.

*

Dingle Dan, was dingle done.

The poor boy had too much fun.

Now Dingle Dan, who was really spun,

Thought he’d go out for a little run.

While on the run, a lass he did spy,

Who he thought was the apple of his eye.

The apple of his eye, had a hairy pie.

Hairy pie? Dan wasn’t shy.

Also not shy, was the little lass.

Old Dan wound up with a piece of ass.




Money

Posted: February 26, 2011 in Foolishness
Tags: , ,

Money talks and money screams

Buys you a car, fulfills you dreams

Pays the doctor, pays the bills

Money’ll buy you all your thrills.

Picks you up when you get low,

Every-bodies happy when they got some dough.

Money kills and money makes wars

Gets you in places, opens the doors.

There ain’t nothing it can’t do.

Oh yeah money, we all love you.

 

Money is fat, money is thin

The love of money will make you sin.

Money can do anything you want it to do

Money’s green, red white and blue.

You can lose your money if you act too rash,

Every-bodies happy when they got some cash.

Money buys power, money buys might

Money’ll do wrong, and money can do right.

There ain’t nothing it can’t do

Oh yeah money, we all love you.

 

Gig-a-lene

Posted: February 24, 2011 in Flat-0ut Bullshit

Well, I know a little girl name of Gig-a-lene

Woe Gigalene stop laughin’; Hee hee ho ho ha ha

She’s the laughinest child that you’d ever seen

Woe Gigalene, stop laughin’ so, Ho ho oooooooh

Poor thing giggles both day and night

Woe Gigalene stop laughing, he heeeeee

She got the nerve to giggle when things ain’t right

Woe Gigalene stop laughing so

I’m gonna walk Gigalene, walk walk Gigalene

Stop your laughing so!

Well, I met her on Sunday in her Sunday clothes

Woe Gigalene stop laughing

When she walked out my poor dick froze**

Woe Gigalene stop laughin’

I said walk Gigalene. Walk walk Gigalene

Walk Gigalene, stop your laughin’ so.

** OK, you listen to this obscure classic by The Sharps (with Duane Eddy on guitar) and tell me what that line is.  Hard to believe it got by the censors way back in the 50’s.


Nursery Crimes

Posted: February 23, 2011 in Foolishness
Tags: , ,

Jack and Phil went up the hill

To stretch each others waggers

Jack fell down, and said with a frown

Phil can bugger me anytime he swaggers.”

 

Jack Splat could stand no fat

His wife, she wasn’t very lean

Jack Splat laid her on her back

And licked her honey pot clean.

 

The Queen of Hearts

Had the farts

To everyone’s dismay.

The Knave of Hearts

Also did fart

And cleared the palace away.

The King of Hearts

Smelled those farts,

And beat the Knave sore.

The Knave of Hearts

Couldn’t take back the farts,

But promised he’d let no more.


Wee Willies’ winkie was seen throughout the town

Upstairs or downstairs, protruding from his gown.

Rapping at a window, showing off his bone

He’s now in jail, left all alone.

 

Twinkle, twinkle, little star

Here I sit, in the neighborhood bar.

Up upon a stool so high,

With a cigarette butt, in my eye.

Twinkle twinkle, I’ve gone too far.

Life’s turn to shit, sittin’ in this bar.

Lost my job; the Wife left me today

Time to get off my ass and go to AA.


Does A Bear Sit In The Woods?

Posted: February 22, 2011 in Foolishness
Tags: , ,

Does a bear sit in the woods?

Do chickens cluck?

Do cats pass gases?

All expressions for “What do you think?”

What do you think?

Who gives a damn

It probably stinks,

You’re not better than I am.

What do you know?

Give me a break

Go take a blow

And make no mistake.

Take me serious?

You must be delirious.

Take me delirious?

You’re much to serious

I’m Full Of Inggus

Posted: February 20, 2011 in Foolishness

I’m full of Inggus and my mind’s insane
I want to do some linggus when I hear your name.
Yep, your brand of Pinggus is truly in-nane
Cadulating dinggus, it’s all the same.
I’m filled with Inggus and my mind’s insane,
You’ve crawled up my cortex and invaded my brain

Habbel nabbel dibble used to be so fine
Schneg a lep a freggeling all the time.
Now all ya do is sit and whine
While I ger-schlepple on my vine.

I’m full of Inggus and my mind’s insane
Schnabble and gobbel me in the middle of this frame.
How’d ya do it? I’m not the same.
Ger-schlepulate me baby, it’s all a game.
Yes, I’m full of Inggus and my mind’s insane,
All my phingston’s gone down the drain.

Lets Flow Fake A Plop

Posted: February 19, 2011 in Foolishness

Let’s flow fake a plop
Let’s flow fake a plop
Come on…let’s flow fake a plop
You can flock it, even fold it, maybe try to even hold it
Fake a plop.
All the frats and clicks, are smacking their lips, at the plop.

You can flop it or roll it, even bend, spindle, mutilate or behold it
Fake a plop.
All the rats and hicks are busy bein’ kicked when they plop.
Let’s flow fake a plop, or maybe.
Let’s be hot to trot, oh Sadie!
We can bop until we drop.
Come on, let’s plop at least a drop.

This may make a little more sense, were one to listen to Danny and the Juniors’ “At The Hop”